So I cannot help but notice lately that my boyfriend, who is an absolute darling but a bit of a chaos monkey under the best of circumstances, has taken to turning the shampoo bottle the wrong way around in the shower nearly every single day.
At first this struck me as mere coincidence, or simply his typical atypical version of organization, but it has become so consistent that I’m really starting to wonder.
Could this be an insidious plot to slowly drive me to madness and have me committed, so that he can cash in on my extensive trust fund?
And is his tendency to rumple up the T-shirts in his dresser drawers after I’ve placed them in there neatly a part of his clever machinations as well?
I suspect it is.
I say this with the fair amount of confidence, because I saw it in a Lifetime Movie called “Imaginary Friend” just the other day.
In this fine cinematic masterpiece, the lovely “Party of Five” actress Lacey Chabert is being aggressively haunted by a random hot chick and a dearth of decent dialogue, in addition to the whole husband-trying-to-get-her-committed thing.
Yes, I admit it.
This is the sort of thing I tend to watch when I’m not busy reading your auras in a deeply thoughtful and spiritual fashion.
At least THOSE girls are real. Right??
So sue me.
Except of course you can’t, because I don’t happen to have a job or any actual money.
I suppose I should’ve mentioned to my boyfriend that there’s no extensive trust fund either, but it might have slipped my mind.
A lot of things do.
I welcome your thoughts on this important matter, however, and I urge you to keep an eye out for any such dastardly schemes in your own homes, just in case you may have overlooked them.
They’re probably behind the washing machine, next to the missing socks.
You’re welcome.
I recommend using a clear, round bottle for shampoo that you can refill from the container it came in. I try to remove all removable sources of madness-inducing chaos, better to tolerate those I can’t remove. But be aware that testosterone impairs awareness of how to refill containers (and even awareness that near-empty containers can be refilled), so this will forever fall to you.
Good idea! He actually does refill the dish soap bottle on occasion, but this may be because it’s shaped like a penguin – and who doesn’t like penguins?
Also he cooks, so he definitely has his strong points. I think I’ll keep him.
Hm. Maybe it has to do with which direction the lid opens and closes?
In my house, there’s no one to blame but myself if things suddenly start getting turned around backwards. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.
Nope, it opens from the front.
HAHA!! This is hysterical! I know just how you feel.
LOML refuses to accept the fact that for the last 4 years we’ve had a new dishwasher. It has a ‘tall tub’ which means that long-handled items like spatulas and carving knives now fit easily in the utensil tray without snagging the top rack. But, STILL, he puts large knives & spatulas in the top rack which leaves less room for glasses and cups! It drives me bonkers!!
He also has a serious problem with MBD (Male Blindness Disorder) whereby he cannot see a jar of mustard on the top shelf of the fridge no matter how many times I assure him it’s there. This is also often the case with things in the cupboards.
He is, however, a wiz at fixing complicated things like a car engine. He has lots more qualities, too, so I’m keeping him, as well.
Yeah, it’s always a tossup, isn’t it? Yin and yang. But my boy has lots of positive qualities, and it’s usually HIM telling me how to load the dishwasher. I’m just happy we HAVE a dishwasher, even though it’s a little one, and the knives definitely go in the top rack.
sooo…. after seeing this post… what does he have to say for himself!?
Oh please – he doesn’t read my blog. Not nearly enough birds in it to suit him.
Oh yeah, I have accidentally filled my hair with conditioner instead of shampoo because it was in the space where I keep the shampoo AND turned around. Or here’s a good one, somebody can’t wait for the shampoo to get to the spout so they add water to it and you don’t know until it runs through your fingers. I could go on and on about the pet peeve mysteries that happen in the bathroom – and that’s just one room. Thing is even though it’s the master bath, my two children use it, too, so who do you blame?
Well, to be fair, you DID say your house might be haunted…