Category Archives: Our Happy Little Menagerie

Some Assembly Required

  June 14, 2013 - 5:46 pm | ,
10 Comments

El Boyfriendo and I decided last night that if we ever have enough money to build our own house, we’re going to make it look just like a giant hamster cage, with two separate parts connected by a big plastic tube in the middle, and some cool little lookout rooms and whatnot.

That way he can have a messy side, and I can have a clean side, and we’ll just meet in the middle now and then, as all good relationships do.

The house will be sturdy, colorful, easy to put together, and can be broken down into parts when we want to move.

We’re thinking of Portsmouth, New Hamster, just for starters.

And hey, if the concept catches on, we can establish a foundation to build them for the less

fortunate too.

We’ll call it Habitrails for Humanity.

Did you see that one coming?

If you did, you’ve been following this blog for way too long.

Run while you still can.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you. 

Benedict Slumberscratch

Benedict Slumberscratch, our architectural inspiration. RIP, little buddy.  We miss you.

What a Load

  May 31, 2013 - 11:08 pm | ,
13 Comments

Okay, now this is just ridiculous.

See, there’s this pair of green corduroy pants that I’ve had forever, and when I was wearing them the other day, our cinnamon conure Cayce sat on my knee and…made a deposit to the Bank of Bird, shall we say.

So like, eww.

Cayce Scritch

I told the bird I was making a post about him, but all he did was scratch himself on it.

I washed the pants that night, of course, but the next time I wore them, he did it again.

I do a lot of laundry around this zoo, as you might imagine.

Okay, fine.

But tonight I went out to where I had left the pants stretched out to dry over the hamper in the kitchen, only to find that the bird had dumped on them again somehow.

BEFORE I EVEN GOT TO WEAR THEM.

And that is taking things too far.

I’m all for pre-paid credit cards, but pre-pooed pants are out of the question.  I guess I’ll just have to dry clean the things from now on.

I would send the bird the bill, but he already has one.

Working for Peanuts

  January 2, 2013 - 3:09 pm | ,
19 Comments

It snowed pretty heavily here twice last week, and our deck was so deeply covered in drifts that we couldn’t even open the door anymore.

My intrepid boyfriend had the solution, though – he simply clambered out the bathroom window, and shoveled a path to the doorway.

Now, I would have been more impressed by El Boyfriendo’s concern for fire safety and clear egress, if I had not had nagging suspicions about his true motivations in this exercise.

I pointed out to him that I felt he was really more concerned about his pet squirrels being able to get to the door for their daily feedings, which he vehemently denied.

But as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words – and since I generally like to keep my posts well under that limit anyway, I submit the following into evidence:

Squirrel Fort

Yes, that’s right – he built them a HOUSE.

Doesn’t it just look nice and cozy?  I fairly expected to find the baby Jesus swaddled up in there at some point, except that Christmas was already over.  I think he might’ve been pretty comfortable otherwise, though.

In any case, Dr. Jewlittle’s strategy worked, and his regular “customers” began arriving without delay.

Here are a few photos of them visiting their new vacation timeshare:

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I might object to all of these critters hanging out on my doorstep and begging for food, except that I’m secretly hoping to train some of them to do the dusting around the apartment, which is the one thing I never seem to get to.

Those fluffy tails of theirs have got to be good for something!  :-)

Polly Wants a Collar

  June 5, 2012 - 1:03 pm | ,
10 Comments

Speaking of ridiculously cute bird pictures, which you probably didn’t realize we were, I feel it’s only fair to give equal time to our other pampered psittacine personage, a green-cheeked conure whose official moniker is Cayce, but to whom I fondly refer as Mr. Stupid.

Please don’t worry, he isn’t offended by this.

He is not a bright bird.

I guess that’s kind of the point.

Also, I’m fairly sure he doesn’t speak much English, aside from the all-important phrases “go poop,” “bad bird,” and “come here,” which is the only expression he can actually produce on his own, and which is remarkably amusing when muttered sleepily from a covered cage in the middle of the night.

The bird DOES know how to relax, however.

See below.

Cayce Collar 1

Now isn’t that just priceless?

If you did not go “Awwwwwwwwww” when you saw that, then you are probably not actively conscious, or else you’ve seen “Birdemic: Shock and Terror” one too many times, and just can’t get past the convincing CGI.

I can’t blame you for that.

What actually happens here, though, is that my boyfriend grabs Mr. Stupid and sticks him underneath the bottom of his shirt.  The conure employs the fabric of the shirt (and boyfriend’s manly chest hair) as a kind of ladder, and within seconds, voilà – out he pops, like a bashful teenager tucked into a sleeping bag at a slumber party.

He will remain there for quite some time if you let him, joyfully rubbing his head on that nice warm neck, and occasionally sinking his beak into it tenderly, because he will not be IGNORED, dagnabit.

Ah, love.

It’s a many feathered thing.

Cayce Collar 2

Ode to My New Friend Cricket

  June 4, 2012 - 5:26 pm |
7 Comments

Cricket 1

If nary a canary
Has lit careless on your wrist
You ought to be aware
It is an aviary bliss

To tempt a wary fairy
Is a fairly hairy feat
But you’ll feel very airy
When she answers, “lettuce eat!”

- J.F.

Cricket 2

Remembering Rupert

  May 21, 2012 - 3:35 pm |
2 Comments

I received an order for a very special pendant recently, and I wanted to share it  with my lovely readers here.

The request came as a result of my post about Long Island Medium Theresa Caputo, with whom I had a brief encounter during our recent vacation to New York City, as you might recall.

In that admittedly offbeat installment, I made mention of my commemorative angel wing design called Hearts in Flight, and a friend passed it along to the client.

Rupert Front

She felt it would be a perfect way to remember their beloved Chihuahua Rupert, who crossed over in 2011, and who is sorely missed by the entire family, because he was a truly exceptional dog.

Rupert ChihuahuaAnd you can see that just by looking at him, can’t you?

Isn’t he the cutest thing ever?

And what an aura, right?

Just look at all those colors!

The client ordered this pendant as a birthday gift for her daughter, and because she wanted a unusually detailed inscription, she was kind enough to send me a nice clear drawing of what she was looking for.

I wasn’t certain I could do it at first, but as it turned out it wasn’t as hard as I thought, and I even got it all on there in the first try!

I’m pretty sure Rupert was lending me a helping paw from the Other Side.

Thanks, sweetie!

Rupert Back

As you can see, the pendant features Rupert’s name on the reverse, and the years that the family was blessed by his furry little angel spirit.

There is also the imprint of his tiny little foot on the left, and a representation of “I Love You” in sign language on the right.

The client’s daughter was very happy to have this reminder of her cherished pet, and I hope that it helps her keep him close to her heart, literally and spiritually, until they meet again one day.

And I know they will.

Because dogs are people too, and if there aren’t any dogs in heaven, then I’m not sure I want to go there!

How about you?

Fire and Ice

  January 6, 2012 - 6:48 pm |
Leave a comment

Hello, peeps and peoples!

Happy New-ish Year!

Today is the first day of the rest of the weekend, or however the saying goes, so today I am sitting in front of the fire in my (thankfully nonflammable) robe, rocking in my super-comfy chair, and watching the wildly overfed neighborhood squirrels (courtesy of my sweet animal-loving boyfriend, Doctor Jewlittle), frolicking on the deck.

And also climbing the walls with they teenity feets, which is more than mildly startling if you’re not expecting to walk into a room and find a splayed-out squirrel staring at you through the window screen, peanut fever in its beady little eyes.

Thank goodness they’ll be too fat for that soon.

Because I now possess far more detailed information about squirrel anatomy than I rightfully require for any useful purpose, I can assure you.

But in any case, I’m happy today, because I finally awoke to just the merest scurf of snow all over the world, pure and blissfully untrammeled (although needless to say, that condition did not persist following the onslaught of squirreldom).

Snow Squirrel Tracks

As a result, I decided that it was definitely time to throw a very fake log into my very real fireplace, turn on the lights on my even faker tree, burn a candle that smells like the mulled cider that I can never, ever drink because the sugar would murder me, and sit on my berob-ed bum for most of the day, tippy-typing away.

Not a bad job if you can get it.

Doesn’t come with benefits, though, aside from that squirrel anatomy thing.

And that is clearly a matter of opinion.

Squirrel At Window