So I cannot help but notice lately that my boyfriend, who is an absolute darling but a bit of a chaos monkey under the best of circumstances, has taken to turning the shampoo bottle the wrong way around in the shower nearly every single day.
At first this struck me as mere coincidence, or simply his typical atypical version of organization, but it has become so consistent that I’m really starting to wonder.
Could this be an insidious plot to slowly drive me to madness and have me committed, so that he can cash in on my extensive trust fund?
And is his tendency to rumple up the T-shirts in his dresser drawers after I’ve placed them in there neatly a part of his clever machinations as well?
I suspect it is.
I say this with the fair amount of confidence, because I saw it in a Lifetime Movie called “Imaginary Friend” just the other day.
In this fine cinematic masterpiece, the lovely “Party of Five” actress Lacey Chabert is being aggressively haunted by a random hot chick and a dearth of decent dialogue, in addition to the whole husband-trying-to-get-her-committed thing.
Yes, I admit it.
This is the sort of thing I tend to watch when I’m not busy reading your auras in a deeply thoughtful and spiritual fashion.
At least THOSE girls are real. Right??
So sue me.
Except of course you can’t, because I don’t happen to have a job or any actual money.
I suppose I should’ve mentioned to my boyfriend that there’s no extensive trust fund either, but it might have slipped my mind.
A lot of things do.
I welcome your thoughts on this important matter, however, and I urge you to keep an eye out for any such dastardly schemes in your own homes, just in case you may have overlooked them.
They’re probably behind the washing machine, next to the missing socks.
You’re welcome.